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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23930932">Sad Song</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Butterfly/pseuds/Miss_Butterfly'>Miss_Butterfly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Given (Anime), Given (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Break Up, First Love, M/M, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:01:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23930932</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Butterfly/pseuds/Miss_Butterfly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A louder and more powerful sound than a breaking string sounds in your ears. A sad song sounds in the air.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, Satou Mafuyu/Yoshida Yuuki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sad Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ok, I wrote this after reading all the chapters of the manga in one night and ending up terribly angry with chapter 34, so if you see misspellings I apologize, but I did it all in a row after a sleepless night.</p><p>I also warn you that there will be an excess of spoilers, in case you have not read the manga.</p><p>And seriously, Uenoyama is too good for the world.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Writing Yuki's song had been more difficult than Uenoyama had originally expected, well first of all, he hadn't been thinking entirely clearly when he had accepted the assignment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>However, with each guitar strum, with each unfinished phrase... He understands what Yayoi was referring to, it is hell, because despite all that Yuki represents —it is a giant shadow that seems to overshadow everything, slowly and without Rest—, he understands it, he understands primarily what he was trying to convey because it is what he feels for Satou Mafuyo himself, it is what tears him inside and speeds up his heart and makes him have the naive hope of happily ever after.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>So he doesn't sleep, he remains awake and ends a love song made by his boyfriend's ex, a love song that is covered on the edges by the feelings he himself keeps.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hiiragi smiles when he hears her, he can feel and see Yuki's feelings; you can see them in a kind of retrospective slow motion the way in which your relationship with Mafuyo is reflected in that song, the problem of course is that you cannot see the whole dimension. Hiiragi, a boy seeking redemption; a boy who clung tooth and nail to the only thing the person he loved left him; a boy who does not capture all the nuances of that new song; that it does not capture the feelings that Uenoyama himself has put into it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they present the song, Uenoyama is there on stage with them, they haven't found a good guitarist yet, and Uenoyama is too good for his own good. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>There is an emotion difficult to explain when looking at Mafuyo's eyes as a spectator, he never mentioned the matter, why would he? When he knows the pain that a simple reference to his ex's name causes him. Hiiragi, unlike him, looks exuberant, projects all the enthusiasm and vibes that makes the audience unable to take their eyes off him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This is a song written and composed by our former vocalist and guitarist”, he announces amidst the furor of the presentation, Uenoyama is never mentioned despite the fact that he was the one who took an unfinished piece and finished making it the song that seems to have left more of one with a bleeding heart, willing to hold on to that person they love.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Uenoyama plays as if his life itself is gone, and when he looks up, as he plays the final chords and meets Mafuyo's eyes— they don't see it. There are tears, thick drops trickling down her cheeks, and she seems to be looking on stage for someone who is no longer there.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the presentation ends Hiiragi, who has also seen what happened, intercepts Mafuyo before even Uenoyama can lower the guitar.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That was the song he prepared for you”, he says, her voice also cracked and her hands shaking, there is an emotion difficult to describe because at least she has managed to transmit Yuki's song. “He loved you”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Finally he says and Mafuyo's tears seem to have no end, and, for Uenoyama, who looks like a spectator who seems no matter what he tries, is useless, it hurts almost physically, but that is not what breaks his heart, what breaks his heart is Mafuyo's soft and heartbreaking murmur saying:</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I love him too."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Uenoyama freezes in the middle, and a louder and more shocking sound than a breaking rope sounds in his ears.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Yuki's shadow rises like an impenetrable wall and for a moment, he feels like he is drowning.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Shizusumi a few steps behind him, also stops dead in his tracks and slowly shakes his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Uenoyama recoils, spins around and leaves.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Shizusumi looks at everything like a distant spectator, unsure if he should intervene or let the whole drama take its course, also, it's not as if he hadn't seen it coming, he had seen the doubt in Mafuyo's eyes that night as they talked about the possible Given debut, but, Uenoyama is a nice enough guy, too kind and—</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He slaps Hiiragi on the head, a soft pat that makes him complain childishly, Mafuyo, is wiping his tears, when he utters the phrase that could change everything for better or for worse.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The song was finished by Uenoyama”, he says, Mafuyo freezes. For a moment you feel like you have misheard. Shizusumi sighs, those dramas don't suit her. “Although the song was one that Yuki was composing, it was not finished. And well— We ask Uenoyama to finish it”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because of course, Shizusumi would never let Hiiragi carry all the blame.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Uenoyama-kun—" Mafuyo murmurs and his eyes look around him, of course he is not in sight. There is a hard feeling to explain in his chest. “Where is?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Inquires, Shizusumi shrugs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He's gone”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mafuyo remains static, he never knows what to do.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Uenoyama runs, runs like never before, and for a moment her sister's words ring in her ears like a bitter prophecy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>That boy— is going to break your heart”</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course when she had told him, he had muttered that it did not matter, yet the pain of a broken heart is even worse than that of the time he had fallen and sprained his ankle. The pain is more embracing and echoes with an echo of a funeral tune.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And, Uenoyama was the kind of boy who until now had only been interested in music, so it is not surprising that his first love, and as troublesome as it was, left him with such great pain. The worst part is, he hadn't even noticed that he was overshadowed by Yuki's shadow.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He had had faith, hope, and a willingness to try to walk and move into the future even though Mafuyo, at times, seemed to constantly gaze over his shoulder.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And he, stupidly, had lent himself to finish a song of his ex, sinking even more under that shadow that since Mafuyo had entered his life, silently and without rest seemed to overshadow his sound.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her phone rings, one... two... three...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Never mind. He lets it ring, he's too emotionally drained to pretend and to put up a firm front. And also, none is from Mafuyo.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>All that weekend he skips his homework, skips school, and skips band practice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's not ready, he may never be ready and— why is it that in the stupid books and romantic series that his sister reads and watches they don't talk about this pain?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course, Uenoyama is not the kind of guy who avoids trouble. So, that afternoon, after more self-pity that only leaves him feeling even more miserable, he finally sends a message to Mafuyo and... isn't it stupidly enlightening that he's the one who always seems to be trying to maintain that connection?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They meet outside the apartment compound where Mafuyo lives because Uenoyama is simply not the kind of masochist to enter the house where Mafuyo's scent is wrapped around him like a trap. When he arrives, Mafuyo is already waiting for him, he looks nervous and maybe a little guilty. Uenoyama runs a hand through his hair, and he is really not good with words and the silence continues like a thick fog that threatens to drown them.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>“We must finish”, he finally says, thankful that his voice sounds stable and convincing enough.  Mafuyo's surprised eyes look at him as if he didn't understand why.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Uenoyama gets a little exasperated and feels like screaming and tearing her hair out, maybe even crying, but he's done that for most of her weekend and he's not willing to shed any more tears.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>“Uenoyama-kun... I—”, Mafuyo begins, he is about to make that painful expression that Uenoyama hates so much and that makes his heart hurt even more and that very possibly will make him sink even deeper and go backwards, so before he can say more, he says:</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It's obvious that this is not going to end well and I— I am not him”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mafuyo's breathing seems to stop for a moment, and Uenoyama smiles sadly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And it's obvious that you're not ready for a relationship yet and I— <em>I don't know if I can bear to be his shadow</em>”, the last one remains as a thought that doesn't reach his lips.  Instead he says. “So, the best thing for both of us, and for our band, is to continue as companion”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He doesn't even dare to allude to the word friends, because he doesn't know if he will be able to do that, there is too fresh a wound on his chest. He just turns around, waiting for a tiny moment for Mafuyo to stop his steps, he doesn't.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A sad song sounds in the air, but Uenoyama, he is free again.</p>
</div>
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